You Should Wait- and other sex myths

I don’t know why I’m feeling this way, maybe it’s because I came across a post that was titled ‘Hollywood Sex Myths’ and I started think about all the absolute lies I was told about sex coming up and still continue to pop up right about now. So here goes:

1. It feels good. Yeah, it feels good after awhile. After you’ve been doing it a minute and you learn what you like and you don’t like and you’re doing it with someone who gives a damn what you like. The first time it sucks. It sucks big time. It’s awkward and it hurts. I’ve got that ‘Falsetto’ song by The Dream playing in my head where he ad libs ‘…she said it feels like her very first time.’ Really? If it does you’re definitely doing something wrong.

2. The Pill is your best friend. Complete lie. It prevents pregnancy, yes, but it also can make you dry as a bone and make your libido level dip lower than a big girl at a strip club. The real reason you’re not getting pregnant is because you’re not having as much sex.

3. Condoms don’t feel good. Now, that one is true. Usually it’s what guys say to young girls to get them to ‘let them’. Well, if you didn’t already know it’s completely true. But, that just gives you something to look forward to when you get married. (And, for those magazine articles that suggest condoms for married people in this AIDS era, they can go ‘jump in the lake’ [youknowhatimean]. If you can’t trust your husband/wife you shouldn’t be married)

4. You should wait. Lie! I totally recommend letting the virginity go early, because when you fall in love with that person and lose your mind you have very little to lose. If you wait until you’re in your twenties you’re liable to wake up 5-10 years later with an illegitimate child, bad credit, a few pissed off friends and a family that’s lost respect for you.

5. It’s better when it’s all night long. What? Don’t work harder, work smarter. If both of you can get done in 20 minutes, instead of 2 hours good for you. Crossing the finish line feels just as good for the sprinter as it does for the cross country runner, and I bet you the sprinter still has energy to run another race or wash a load of laundry in the same day.

This has been a public service announcement!