The Worth of a Woman

In some developing countries, the consequences of infertility—which can include ostracism, physical abuse and even suicide—are heartbreaking. "If you are infertile in some cultures, you are less than a dog," says Willem Ombelet of the Genk Institute for Fertility Technology in Belgium. Women are often uneducated, so their only identity comes from being moms. "It [infertility] is an issue of profound human suffering, particularly for women," says Marcia Inhorn, professor of anthropology and international affairs at Yale University. "It's a human-rights issue."

The stigma that infertile women face can infiltrate every aspect of life. They may not even be invited to weddings or other important gatherings. "People see them as having a "bad eye" that will make you infertile, too. Infertile women are considered inauspicious," says Inhorn. Other people simply "don't want to have them around at joyous occasions," says Frank van Balen, coauthor (with Inhorn) of "Infertility Around the Globe" and a professor in the department of social and behavioral sciences at the University of Amsterdam. Their reasoning: "they could spoil it," he says. Source

The New York Times ran this piece recently to highlight the problem of infertility in developing countries. Now, as someone who is looking at this problem from a personal level I know that it’s a scary thing to confront, even as a possibility, but being a mother or not does not define me, but I understand the comforts that motherhood can offer a woman in less developed countries. For instance, in some Muslim countries a woman cannot go out alone unless she is accompanied by a male family member or a child. In other countries without social security or retirement plans a child is their savings plan of sorts, they will be the ones to take care of them when they get old. And in still others a woman’s place is so marginalized, so narrowly defined that if she does not have children there is nothing for her to talk about with other women.

All that I get.

What I don’t get is the idea that instead of education, clean water, empowerment, adoption services (‘cause Americans are flocking to “developing” countries in droves to snatch up babies) and better health care the solution their proposing is affordable InVitro Fertilization. What the hell?

Are our priorities that out of whack?

These women don’t need IVF they need jobs, sex education, a self-esteem seminar. If I can’t find the money to cure my Chlamydia what am I going to do with a child? How will I feed that child if my husband dies and my only identity is mother?

Sometimes I am truly amazed by Western arrogance and greed. Giving a poor, illiterate, malnourished woman IVF is like donating a Badgley Mischka evening gown to homeless woman in the dead of winter.